Self Care and Grief
I’m not really sure where to start.
I’ve written about aromatherapy for grief in the past but I wanted to talk about deep self care when you’re in the midst of grief, about how important it is and how it’s helped me.
When I ran my first maa retreat a few weeks ago I made some silly mistake and someone remarked ‘it’s good to see that you’re human’ …another reason I wanted to write this – we all have stuff to wade through in life and sometimes it’s important to share it so you know you’re not alone. We’re all human!
My father passed away on 24th April and the sense of sadness has been immense.
I’ve been lucky enough to have the support of Andrew (my husband for those you who don’t know) and many friends.
There have been hard days and not so hard days, days that seem close to normal and days where I can’t hold it together at all. There’s been many nights with little sleep and lots and lots of tears.
But through it all I’ve made sure to look after me. I’ve taken some extra time off. I’ve stayed in bed all morning, I’ve reduced my workload, I’ve said no to things.
And I’ve massively upped my self care.
Massages. Acupuncture. Therapy sessions with my fabulous doctor. Aromatherapy. I even attended a beautiful Midwinter Goddess Gathering because it felt like a very healing thing to do.
The fact that ongoing self care is super important has been reinforced. When you’re consistently looking after yourself you can cope much better with the the hard things life throws at you. And it’s easier to increase your self care when it’s necessary if you already have it in place.
Massage has helped calm and ground me.
Acupuncture has brought me balance on a physical and emotional level.
Therapy sessions with my doctor has helped me keep my perspective and process not only the loss of my father but other things that have been happening around that.
Aromatherapy has supported me too. In my blog post Grief and 10 Essential Oils to Help I talked about Basil, Bergamot, Cypress, Lavender, Neroli, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Rosemary, Rosewood and Ylang Ylang.
There’s a few ESSENTIAL OIILS I’d like to add to that list…
Amber – Amber is grounding, soothing and calming in times of stress. It helps to alleviate depression and anxiety. It enhances relaxation, bringing inner balance and peace. It also calms the busy mind, helping with insomnia and allowing a deeper sleep.
Frankincense – Frankincense is soothing, calming and centering. It helps calm and slow down breathing. It enhances spirituality, inner wisdom, emotional healing and hope. It helps to reduce stress, anxiety and nervous exhaustion.
Mandarin – Mandarin gives emotional strength and support, peacefulness and serenity. It is helpful for insomnia and restlessness. It is sedating to the nervous system and uplifts the spirits, making it excellent for depression, sadness, nervous tension, anxiety, panic and stress. It is balancing, enhancing gentleness and bringing joy and happiness to the heart.
Patchouli – Patchouli balances and integrates the energy between mind, body and spirit. It is great for anxiety and depression. It is very grounding and deeply calming, creating a true sense of inner peace. It is also a very gentle oil great for wisdom, laughter and love
Sandalwood – Sandalwood is centring, grounding and harmonising. It heals the soul, promotes tranquillity and is great for meditation. Great for self-love. It also helps create openness and understanding, promotes love and hope and is excellent for loneliness and overcoming isolation. It gives a feeling of stability and togetherness, providing comfort and healing in times of stress, depression and confusion. It also helps insomnia sufferers and is perfect for anyone who has a lot going on in their life.
Three of my favourite blends have been…
Amber, Rose and Mandarin
Sandalwood, Roman Chamomile and Bergamot
Frankincense, Rose and Mandarin
I find inhalation the best method of use for grief
- Just place a few drops on a tissue to inhale as you need to
- add 10 – 15 drops to your oil burner to infuse the aroma throughout the room
- place a drop on your pillow to help with sleep and rest.
This is just what has helped me over the last couple of months…it may be different for you. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. And it’s definitely an ongoing process.
Remember, whatever feels right for you is ok. And if you are going through the grieving process and feel you are not coping please seek professional advice, there is always someone who can help you through it.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Head to the comments below and let me know what’s helped you get through the grieving process.
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In health and happiness, Dee xxx