Why You Don’t Need A Social Media Detox

Why You Don’t Need A Social Media Detox

Ok, so here’s the thing…

I had this blog post almost ready to publish and then I started a new group coaching program and one of the first things my coach got us to do was a  24hr digital detox – exactly what this blog post says you don’t need!

Yep, resistance came up! But then I thought about my commitment to putting 100% into the coaching program and so I got curious. What if I did get off social media for 24hrs? What would it feel like? How would it impact me?

So I did it! And for over 24hrs. It actually wasn’t that hard. Maybe because I already go for long periods not checking social media. Maybe because it was just what I needed. It was my weekend and the temptation was there to share what I was up to but I resisted and just enjoyed the moment without telling my community about it.

The idea was to really tune into yourself without the influence of anyone or anything else so we could get clarity on the vision we have for our lives. It was a super helpful exercise and I’m glad I did it. It resulted in 4 pages of journaling about my vision, who I am, who I need to be and what I need to do to become the next level or version of myself.

So maybe you do need to get off social media every now and then.
Having said that, I still think my thoughts on not needing to get off social media are valid.

Here’s the article I had started…

No, I’m not going to suggest you get off social media for a day, a weekend, a whole week. I’m not going to tell you to get off social media if you’re on holidays or any other reason.

I’ve got another suggestion.

Let’s work towards creating a life where social media doesn’t feel icky or overwhelming, negative or nasty. Where it doesn’t cause procrastination. Where you’re not comparing yourself to everyone else and falling short!

Let’s work towards creating a life where social media builds a sense of community, uplifts us, inspires us, helps us, supports us to become the person we choose to be.

On a broader perspective let’s create a life where we don’t feel the need to ‘escape’ from our everyday life. Whether that’s using social media as an escape or feeling we need to escape from social media because it feels necessary yet toxic.

If social media is part of your life use it when it feels good and right and when it doesn’t don’t go there. Unfollow anything that doesn’t resonate with you.

Same with life in general. I know there will always be things you have to do that aren’t the height of joy but you can try to find a balance that works for you. This will be different for everyone. Do what makes you happy in the moment. Make decisions that are aligned with how you want your life to be. This will allow you to feel a sense of inner calm and clarity far more often than feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

Find the amount of social media that works for you.

Find the amount of ‘anything in your life’ that works for you. Work. Self Care. Food. Social Life. Personal Development. Creativity. The list goes on.

When you make decisions that are right for you and in alignment with the vision you have for your life you’re cultivating and growing what feels fantastic for you and  you’ll actually crowd out the anxiety and overwhelm.

I hope that makes sense. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.

In health and happiness, Dee xxx

Why You Need Gratitude

Why You Need Gratitude

Gratitude is no doubt something you’ve heard about if you’ve been exploring the personal development world. You may have tried it for a while or maybe not. You may even think it seems too simple to work or you just don’t have time or possibly you just don’t know how practising gratitude could actually improve your life.

So what is gratitude?

The dictionary defines it as ‘the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful’.
I think of gratitude as the practice of feeling deep appreciation for the good things in your life, big and small.

Your thoughts and your words create your reality. So when you have a regular practice of acknowledging what you’re grateful for you will feel and attract more of that into your life.

Gratitude focuses on, and therefore cultivates, positivity, joy, purpose, success, love and optimism.

Personally I find that tuning in to gratitude and really feeling it helps me let go of feelings of anxiety. The gratitude crowds out the anxiety I feel in my chest and stomach and replaces it with a sense of calm and peace. This allows more space and opportunity to focus on kindness, ease and self care.

It is simple and it does work. But here’s the thing, it’s like most things that are good for us, it requires consistency.

Consistency creates a cumulative effect that can be so powerful.

Start now. Keep doing it every day. When you’re thinking it isn’t really working, keep doing it. Because one day you’ll realise the difference it has made to your life over time. And it will continue to do so.

This in turn allows you to feel more grateful and so the effect and benefits grow.

My gratitude practise is super simple. Every night, as part of my journaling practise, I write down what I’m grateful for that day. Sometimes it’s just one thing – like my comfy warm bed or the glass of red I had with dinner. Other times it’s something bigger – like the unwavering support I have from my Andrew (my hubby) and friends. 

I find it helps me to focus on abundance over lack and to see the positive in people and situations. 

When I’m grateful I feel less anxious. When I’m grateful I feel more peace and contentment. When I’m grateful I attract more of that goodness into my life.

Do you have a gratitude practice? Let me know in the comments below how it has helped you.

In health and happiness, Dee xxx

4 Ways To Amplify Your Joy

4 Ways To Amplify Your Joy

In the last couple of weeks I’ve had a big shift. After a hike in the mountains, one of my favourite things to do, I felt energised and uplifted. I always find being in nature soul nourishing and deeply healing. I often get clarity and inspiration as my mind clears and ideas flow.

After this particular hike I realised that the joy has gone out of so many things I do – not the actual work I do with clients, thank goodness I always love that, but it’s gone from the ideas and creation and planning of new things, the behind the scenes stuff in my business and my life.

I decided to bring back that joy.

To come back to a space that is filled with a sense of ease and alignment.

No more push and heaviness.

No more hesitation and distress.

I mind mapped my life and business and reconnected to the things I love in a way that feels good for me – not how I think things ‘should’ look but what actually feels good.

As I did this I also came up with 4 things that help bring that feeling of ease and joy into my life.

I hope these 4 Ways To Amplify Joy will help you too.

1. Take a break. Step out of your current environment. That might mean getting outside during the day, taking a mini break or a longer holiday. It might mean being in nature or even a city fix. It might mean curling up with a good book or enjoying your favourite hobby. Do something that your heart is calling you to do.

2. Be around people who get you, who reallly care about you. These are the very same people that you care about too, the ones you want to help and see happy and fulfilled. This life is a two way street. Helping other people can bring you as much joy as knowing that others care about and love you. Call a friend for chat, have a coffee or dinner.

3. Plan. Getting organised can bring a real sense of ease into your daily life. Mind mapping your goals and intentions and planning out your days to work towards those goals and intentions helps you see that it is doable – how joyful and exciting does that feel?!

4. Focus on what is already brining you joy. Gratitude is key. What we focus on we create more of. Start with what is already bringing you joy. Lean into the joy that already exists, embrace it and you will attract more into your life.
What do you do to amplify joy in your life?
Let me know in the comments below.

In health and happiness, Dee xxx

My Story. My Beliefs. My Perspective.

My Story. My Beliefs. My Perspective.

I posted on Instagram last week about being more open, raw and honest with you about why I do what I do, what has got me to where I am and how I continue to overcome blocks so I can move forward and have more impact in the world.

I wrote this because people often ask me to share more than I do.

So, here goes…

The last (almost) two years, since my father died, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about who and what is really important. A lot of time healing and working on how I feel about myself, who I am in this world, my worth and what that really means.

It spiralled me back into the beliefs I had about myself in my teens and early 20’s. Not a great place to be, but it’s forced me to grow and accept my worth and the part I play in the life of my chosen loved ones, which is ultimately great!

Side note: I’m still working on this! Pretty much every day.

A lot of the time it hurts like hell. I’ve cried. A lot. This time last year I was totally exhausted and felt like sleeping for weeks. The everyday life stuff, connecting with people, growing my business, improving my life,  I doubted I could do it. I didn’t think I deserved it. I didn’t think I was worth it. Anyone who knows me knows this isn’t me at all. I don’t give up. I’m positive about life.

So, I took some time to rest and took the pressure off myself to achieve my goals and intentions for 2018.

There’s 3 things that have stood out for me over this time:
– I was getting stuck in my story.
– The negative beliefs I have about myself are holding me back in multiple areas of my life.
– I can change my perspective on anything to see the good.

Part one …

STUCK IN MY STORY

Here’s the truth. I got stuck in my story. The story of “I’m tired” was a big one and as most of the stuff we tell ourselves is, it was true at one point, but I got to the point where I had to ask myself if it was still true.

Last February I can honestly say I was damn tired – physically and emotionally. I was waiting for support from people that were never going to give it me. I wasn’t looking after myself fully (as I continually advise others to do). I wasn’t being authentic. So I took steps in the right direction to come back to my real self and I think I’m almost there! Yay!

Late last year though, I heard myself say for the gazzilionth time “God, I’m tired, I need to sleep” and something clicked in my brain. Am I really?, I asked myself. Turns out, the answer was “no, I’m not!”. I’m just feeling flat, unsure and scared about what to do next. I knew there was so much I needed to do, especially in my business, whose growth I’d neglected. But to do that I needed to do some work on myself and my beliefs.

Refurbish my thoughts if you will.

Part 2

MY BELIEFS

I had lost belief in myself and went back to a version of my younger self where I truly believed I didn’t deserve much, that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough to be happy and successful. And a big one for me, I don’t belong and people just don’t really like me.

Not a great place to be, I’m sure you agree.

From this focus and mindset of lack it’s hard to grow and thrive. I know when I believed these things to be true in my 20’s I married the wrong person*, did unfulfilling work, lacked purpose and didn’t look after myself well at all. I changed things then, so surely I could change them again.

*you’ll be glad to know I divorced said ‘wrong person’ and found my one – we’ve been together 23 years in May!

Now, I know these beliefs from my childhood simply aren’t true. And I want you to know that if you’re feeling like this, it simply isn’t true for you either. For me they come from situations where I felt like I could never do enough, be enough or fit in and be a part of something. 

However, there is a silver lining to this coming up in Part three!

Here’s one simple thing I did that really works…

I started a page in my journal for each negative belief and below it began a list of anything that disproves this belief. It’s amazing how effective this is. I mean, for starters, when I just take a look at the people around me who include me in their lives how can those beliefs be true?! The answer is as simple as it seems. Those negative beliefs just can not be true. The evidence is proof, it’s hard to ignore.

Of course knowing they’re not true and actually believing and living it is another story. I’m not going to lie, it’s an ongoing process. I keep adding to these lists plus journalling and doing lots of things to support my wellbeing on all levels. When negative thoughts come up I question whether they are true, and even if I can’t quite convince myself they’re not, I choose a positive thought to replace it.

Self compassion and perspective is super important.

Which brings me to Part 3

IT’S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE

I really started to change how I looked at things. This doesn’t mean ignoring the unfortunate things that have happened or the beliefs I have had about myself. In fact it meant acknowledging them and then looking for the good that I could take from it. What does it mean for me and who I am as a person today?

This is the silver lining. I may not have felt deserving or worthy but I was always kind to other people. I may not have felt like I belonged but I’ve always truly loved helping others. I may not have felt good enough but I’m married to the best man I could imagine and am surrounded by caring friends. These things are what led me to be doing the work I love and becoming a kind, compassionate and caring person.

ACCEPTANCE is key here.

Accepting yourself, where you’re at.
Accepting help from others. Accepting that I feel uneasy about people reading this but I’m at the point in my life where helping others is more important. Knowing that sharing helps others.

I’m not even sure this was what I wanted to say (and I know there’s more), but if it helps just one person to know they’re not alone then it was worth writing it.

Remember to be patient and compasssionate to yourself. Know you can change your beliefs and your perspective and move towards the life you know you deserve.

In health and happiness, Dee xxx

PS. A huge thank you to the friend that offered to help me write this. Even though I didn’t take you up on the offer, knowing it was there was a huge comfort and support to me.

My 2019 Theme & Guiding Word

My 2019 Theme & Guiding Word

If you’ve been following me for a while you probably already know that I don’t do the new year resolutions thing. I set some goals and intentions for my business and my life. I also do a big mid year business plan as the new financial year begins. Anyway, I digress… 
Along with my goals and intentions I choose a guiding word for the year ahead and this year I also have a theme for the year. Both of these are the focus for all my goals and intentions. They feed into how I desire my year to feel and look.
So without further ado, here they are…
My THEME for the year is…

E X P A N S I O N

It feels like a  big and powerful intention that will allow me to grow and change alongside maa organics.
To really spread my wings, stretch myself, get out of my comfort zone.
It feels damn scary actually,  but I have a feeling it’s going to be so worthwhile.
I feel like I’m right on the edge of the next level in my business. I feel like life is about to become bigger and fuller with more connection and fulfillment.
I’m ready to say yes, take risks, grow both personally and professionally to allow this expansion to take place. I am open.

May this year of expansion be filled with laughter, positivity and joy.

My WORD for the year is…

E M B R A C E

This word feels like it fits perfectly into my theme of expansion. It is exactly how I want to approach life in 2019.
I embrace the newness of the year.
I  embrace myself as I am now. I nourish my body and soul. I give myself time and space to flourish.
I embrace just being. No rushing, no urgency, no anxiety. I embrace my breath.
I embrace my feelings, leaning into my desires.
I embrace the joy in planning. I take inspired action that fills me up, saying no to things that deplete me.
I embrace my achievements and the bumps in the road. I reflect and celebrate along the way.

I embrace this year of expansion with openness, ease and happy anticipation.

This is the energy I’m creating for 2019.
This is the energy I’m embracing for 2019.
How do you want 2019 to look and feel? Do you have a theme and/or word that reflects your desires?
Share with me in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.
In health and happiness, Dee xxx

My Morning Rituals

My Morning Rituals

I wanted to follow up last months blog post, where I talked about my evening wind down rituals, by talking about my morning rituals.
Sooo, mornings …they’re not really my thing. But this year I’ve really changed my attitude to them! And it’s helped set the tone for the day ahead.

Here’s how my mornings used to be….

alarm goes off, hit snooze, alarm goes off, hit snooze, repeat, repeat, repeat! Get out of bed, because if I wait any longer I’ll be late! Get ready, have coffee, start work.
Not ideal.
Side note,  I’m not saying this never happens anymore!
Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to tell you how I’ve grown to love mornings and how you can too!
If you’re a morning person, that’s great – do your thing!

This is what my mornings look like now…

Alarm goes off. Yep, I still hit snooze or I have a second alarm set, depending on what I have on that day. I don’t jump out of bed. I lay there for while, enjoying my comfortable warm bed.
Before I get up I remind myself how grateful I am to be doing work I truly love, to be helping people on a daily basis and growing a business with my husband that supports us to do the things we enjoy. I don’t just  think these thoughts, I really feel them in my entire body.
Then I get up, have a shower and get dressed. Next I drink warm lemon juice and water, followed by my vitamins.
The next bit is sometimes different. Most days it’s set up for work – either client coaching calls in my office or treatments in the wellbeing studio. Then I sit down and enjoy a cup of coffee with something light to eat while checking social media, emails and messages. Other days it’s going to networking events, meetings or working on other projects or general admin stuff.
A good cup of coffee always features and time to enjoy it, even if it’s only 5 – 10 minutes. I really believe that having some time for you before you start your day is super important. It can be a tea or coffee, journaling, a meditation – whatever works for you.

Don’t think you have to jump out of bed, go for run. Don’t think your morning has to look like everybody else’s does. I’d love to say I journal and do yoga or go for a walk, but the reality is I’m better off doing those things later in the day – it just works better for me. So find what works for YOU.

If you want to change how your mornings feel just do one thing that feels good. Make that a habit. Then add in another thing if you want to.
I’m constantly tweaking my morning and nighttime rituals and I love that. It changes with the seasons. It changes as I change and grow. It changes depending on how I feel and what’s going on in my life.

Do you have an morning ritual?

If not what’s one thing you can do to ease more gently into your day? Give it a go and see how your day changes and how differently you feel at the end of the day.
I’d love to hear how it goes. Let me know in the comments below.
In health and happiness, Dee xxx

Pin It on Pinterest