I wanted to share with you a concept that my Doctor told me about last year. It’s called COAL and I think it’s a really helpful way to look at things.
So, what is C O A L?
Well, it’s an acronym that stands for Curiousity Openness Acceptance Love. And it’s a concept you can apply to your life each and every day.
I did an little bit of research (thank you Google) and found that the acronym was invented by Dr. Daniel Siegel to describe the qualities of mindfulness.
I think it describes the relationship you can build with yourself and the world around you. It can help you grow and lead a happier more fulfilled life by being more present and mindful.
Let’s talk about each one separately and how they can support you in your everyday life.
A great way to approach life is with a sense of curiousity. Ask questions, look at things from different angles, get interested in what’s happening. Look at things without judgment but rather curiosity. When we do this we bring a very different feeling to our days.
Be open to opportunities, new concepts, opinions and different ways of looking at things. When we are more open it leads to more choice and variety in our lives.
To accept the things that you don’t have control over and can’t change. To accept where you are right now. This doesn’t mean you have to stay where you are, however acceptance of your current situation allows you to decide not only where to go next but how.
To cultivate self love. To give love. To do things with love. To allow yourself to receive love. Being kind and compassionate to yourself and others. When we come to life with love we allow more joy into our lives.
Each of these things all feed into each other too.
Curiousity brings with it more openness, acceptance and the ability for love.
Openness feeds our curiousity and helps us accept and grow as well as allow more love in our lives.
Acceptance allows us to cultivate love and therefore be more open and curious.
Love for yourself and others certainly allows us more acceptance and leads to more openness and curiousity.
I think of the COAL Concept as a form of self care. If we have a solid self-care foundation we can cope much better when life throws us unexpected stresses.
Are there any situations or areas of your life where you can apply the COAL concept right now?
Will it help you be more mindful and present?
Let me know in the comments below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Love and Peace, Dee xxx
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What if you can make that change?
What if you can do that thing?
What if you can become that person?
What would that mean for you?
The truth is you can.
It may take time.
It may take persistence.
You get to choose.
You can make the decision.
To do or not to do.
To take action.
One step at a time.
How would it feel to live the life you desire?
How would it feel to be doing the things you desire?
How would it feel to be fully you?
When you live as the person you desire to be you become that person and not only is that great for you but everyone around you benefits.
When you allow yourself to be fully YOU that is a gift to the world.
That inspires real connection.
That inspires others to do the same.
That inspires true joy and happiness.
I urge you to grab a piece of paper and pen and answer the questions above.
Do your answers awaken a desire to let the world see who you really are?
It’s scary I know! But you can make a plan and start taking steps today.
Make that change.
Do that thing.
Become that person.
It is possible.
In health and happiness, Dee xxx
PS if you’re feeling stuck and don’t know where to start then stay tuned for my new 3 month health and lifestyle program that will help bring you out of overwhelm and into a place of ease and fulfillment.
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***image via The Moon Deck on Instagram
I’m not really sure where to start.
I’ve written about aromatherapy for grief in the past but I wanted to talk about deep self care when you’re in the midst of grief, about how important it is and how it’s helped me.
When I ran my first maa retreat a few weeks ago I made some silly mistake and someone remarked ‘it’s good to see that you’re human’ …another reason I wanted to write this – we all have stuff to wade through in life and sometimes it’s important to share it so you know you’re not alone. We’re all human!
My father passed away on 24th April and the sense of sadness has been immense.
I’ve been lucky enough to have the support of Andrew (my husband for those you who don’t know) and many friends.
There have been hard days and not so hard days, days that seem close to normal and days where I can’t hold it together at all. There’s been many nights with little sleep and lots and lots of tears.
But through it all I’ve made sure to look after me. I’ve taken some extra time off. I’ve stayed in bed all morning, I’ve reduced my workload, I’ve said no to things.
And I’ve massively upped my self care.
Massages. Acupuncture. Therapy sessions with my fabulous doctor. Aromatherapy. I even attended a beautiful Midwinter Goddess Gathering because it felt like a very healing thing to do.
The fact that ongoing self care is super important has been reinforced. When you’re consistently looking after yourself you can cope much better with the the hard things life throws at you. And it’s easier to increase your self care when it’s necessary if you already have it in place.
Massage has helped calm and ground me.
Acupuncture has brought me balance on a physical and emotional level.
Therapy sessions with my doctor has helped me keep my perspective and process not only the loss of my father but other things that have been happening around that.
Aromatherapy has supported me too. In my blog post Grief and 10 Essential Oils to Help I talked about Basil, Bergamot, Cypress, Lavender, Neroli, Roman Chamomile, Rose, Rosemary, Rosewood and Ylang Ylang.
There’s a few ESSENTIAL OIILS I’d like to add to that list…
Amber – Amber is grounding, soothing and calming in times of stress. It helps to alleviate depression and anxiety. It enhances relaxation, bringing inner balance and peace. It also calms the busy mind, helping with insomnia and allowing a deeper sleep.
Frankincense – Frankincense is soothing, calming and centering. It helps calm and slow down breathing. It enhances spirituality, inner wisdom, emotional healing and hope. It helps to reduce stress, anxiety and nervous exhaustion.
Mandarin – Mandarin gives emotional strength and support, peacefulness and serenity. It is helpful for insomnia and restlessness. It is sedating to the nervous system and uplifts the spirits, making it excellent for depression, sadness, nervous tension, anxiety, panic and stress. It is balancing, enhancing gentleness and bringing joy and happiness to the heart.
Patchouli – Patchouli balances and integrates the energy between mind, body and spirit. It is great for anxiety and depression. It is very grounding and deeply calming, creating a true sense of inner peace. It is also a very gentle oil great for wisdom, laughter and love
Sandalwood – Sandalwood is centring, grounding and harmonising. It heals the soul, promotes tranquillity and is great for meditation. Great for self-love. It also helps create openness and understanding, promotes love and hope and is excellent for loneliness and overcoming isolation. It gives a feeling of stability and togetherness, providing comfort and healing in times of stress, depression and confusion. It also helps insomnia sufferers and is perfect for anyone who has a lot going on in their life.
Three of my favourite blends have been…
Amber, Rose and Mandarin
Sandalwood, Roman Chamomile and Bergamot
Frankincense, Rose and Mandarin
I find inhalation the best method of use for grief
- Just place a few drops on a tissue to inhale as you need to
- add 10 – 15 drops to your oil burner to infuse the aroma throughout the room
- place a drop on your pillow to help with sleep and rest.
This is just what has helped me over the last couple of months…it may be different for you. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. And it’s definitely an ongoing process.
Remember, whatever feels right for you is ok. And if you are going through the grieving process and feel you are not coping please seek professional advice, there is always someone who can help you through it.
You can also find some helpful info about grief here and coping with grief here on the GriefLink website.
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Head to the comments below and let me know what’s helped you get through the grieving process.
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In health and happiness, Dee xxx
On my recent getaway to Cradle Mountain with Andrew – hubby and Mr maa for those of you who don’t him – I was struck by just how important it is to be surrounded by people who support and believe in you without question.
I’m not sure how silly this is going to sound, but here goes…
It was a beautiful day in Cradle Mountain, we were on holidays, breakfast and coffee were enjoyed and we ventured to Dove Lake for a hike. We were going to go to Marions Lookout but on a whim we decided to do Hansons Peak instead (we’d done Marions in the past).
It looked like quite a climb, but surely it wasn’t as steep as it looked! Turns out parts of it were quite steep with long drops over the side! And I got scared!!!
I had a mini anxiety attack at one point where the path was rocky and I couldn’t look to my right as I was afraid of falling off the edge…I just kept going, looking straight ahead and trying not to freak out!
Ok, made that bit! Phew!
And then a steep rock loomed above. There was a chain to hold onto and pull yourself up. I started up, following Andrew slowly. And then we came to a flat rock face with very few foot holes…and short legs weren’t helping!!!
I completely lost it – there was no way I was going to be able to get up up this bit! My whole body was shaking and my head was telling me this was as far as I was going – I couldn’t wait to be back down the bottom. I literally couldn’t move!
And this is when my one man support team stepped up to the plate, believing that I could do it and patiently waiting while my panic and anxiety dissipated. I believe that took about 15 minutes!
Needless to say I made it up that rock and to the top of Hansons Peak and boy was it worth it!
Check out the view…
There was a point when I truly didn’t think I could do it but I had someone by my side that believed I could – sometimes that’s what we need.
Actually we need to be surrounded by supportive people who believe in us all the time. This is what really hit me while sitting atop Hansons Peak taking photos of the stunningly beautiful view.
CREATE A CIRCLE OF SUPPORT
People who lift us up, cheer us on and celebrate us are essential to our wellbeing. We need to let people do this for us. As we do for them. We don’t have to do all the giving.
Accepting help from someone is one of the most beautiful gifts you can give them.
Take a look around you.
Do you have the support and love that you need?
If not what are some steps you can take to bring that into your life.
And how can you truly nurture those that you do have in your life?
I’d love to hear what you think…head to the comments below and let me know your thoughts.
In health and happiness, Dee xxx