And I believe that when you prioritise time for you and practise deep self care you will be able to tap into it fully.
Radiance happens when you…
nourish your mind, body and soul so you feel a sense of joy and ease.
adopt new ways of thinking and being that support you.
find connection and belonging in deeper relationships with yourself and others.
nurture yourself to create calm and confidence in your everyday life.
tune into your purpose and start living in alignment with your true desires.
live your daily life in a way that helps you feel vibrant, energised and alive.
Today I’m going to share 3 ways to feel more radiant and start embracing the life you’re craving.
1. Change your Mindset. This is the foundation for everything you desire. Awareness is key to change. When you change the way you think about things and the way you approach them you can change your life.
Do you have a ‘problem’ or ‘solution’ mindset, a ‘have to’ or ‘get to’ mindset? Do you focus on what is missing or what is here now?
Start becoming aware of where your thoughts go, especially in challenging situations, and if those thoughts aren’t helpful find ones that are. For example if you’re focusing on the problem try looking for possible solutions instead. When you’re making a decision think about what you ‘get’ to do rather than what you ‘have’ to do, remember it’s your choice! And above all focus on what you have and visualise your desires coming in to existence rather than dwelling on what’s missing.
2. Meditate daily. Even just 5 minutes a day can help. You’ll begin to feel calmer, your mind will feel less cluttered and you’ll feel less stressed and more content. Meditation has a cumulative effect. The more consistent you are the greater the effect. There is a lovely app called Relax & Rest that has 3 simple guided meditations – a great place to begin.
3. Make a My Top Three Things List every day to reduce overwhelm and get more done. Each morning (or the night before, as I do) list the 3 top things that you want to get done that day. You’ll be less likely to get distracted by other things and if you get through those three things you can move on to something else, or better still have a rest!
So here’s 3 ways to help you overcome overwhelm and come back to a place of calm.
1. Talk about it. Don’t push it aside because it will come back and usually feel ten times worse than what it did originally. And don’t let it fester inside you. The thoughts rolling round and round in your head will just end up increasing your feeling of overwhelm. Sometimes just saying out loud how you’re feeling helps dissipate the enormity of it. And once you do start to talk about it you can focus on solutions and what to do next. You can clear the clutter in your mind and come up with a plan.
2. Write about it. Journalling can really help you get clear on how you’re feeling and why. Get it all out on paper. If you don’t know where to start ask yourself a few questions – How am I feeling? Why am I feeling this way? What do I believe about this situation? Is this belief true? You may be surprised what comes up, sometimes we don’t even realise what is beneath the surface. Read over what you’ve written and ask yourself – How can I reframe this? What is the next thing (one small step) I can do to feel better?
3. Meditation. I wholeheartedly believe in the power of meditation. There are many apps out there to help you. To start I always recommend Relax & Rest – it has 3 simple meditations to get you started. But even just a minute of deep breathing can ground and calm you. Give it a try next time you start to feel overwhelmed.
3 essential oils I love for this are…
ROMAN CHAMOMILE (Chamaemelum anthemis nobile) is deeply calming making it a great support in times of stress, worry and over-thinking. It also helps when you are feeling dissatisfied and greatly improves mood. It’s sedating properties help calm and settle the mind.
CEDARWOOD (Cedrus atlantica) is warming, calming, soothing and harmonising. It’s sedative action helps to reduce stress, depression and exhaustion, allowing the mind to relax and emotional tension to be released. It has a gentle energising effect allowing a smooth, deep and long lasting feeling of balance and calm.
CYPRESS (Cupressus sempervirens) is cleansing, tonifying and strengthening. It nourishes an over-burdened nervous system, helping to reduce stress and nervous tension and feelings of being overwhelmed. It restores calm and is soothing to the spirit on a deep level.
What do you to overcome feelings of overwhelm? Let me know in the comments below.
In health and happiness, Dee xxx
Gratitude is no doubt something you’ve heard about if you’ve been exploring the personal development world. You may have tried it for a while or maybe not. You may even think it seems too simple to work or you just don’t have time or possibly you just don’t know how practising gratitude could actually improve your life.
So what is gratitude?
Your thoughts and your words create your reality. So when you have a regular practice of acknowledging what you’re grateful for you will feel and attract more of that into your life.
Gratitude focuses on, and therefore cultivates, positivity, joy, purpose, success, love and optimism.
It is simple and it does work. But here’s the thing, it’s like most things that are good for us, it requires consistency.
Consistency creates a cumulative effect that can be so powerful.
Start now. Keep doing it every day. When you’re thinking it isn’t really working, keep doing it. Because one day you’ll realise the difference it has made to your life over time. And it will continue to do so.
This in turn allows you to feel more grateful and so the effect and benefits grow.
My gratitude practise is super simple. Every night, as part of my journaling practise, I write down what I’m grateful for that day. Sometimes it’s just one thing – like my comfy warm bed or the glass of red I had with dinner. Other times it’s something bigger – like the unwavering support I have from my Andrew (my hubby) and friends.
I find it helps me to focus on abundance over lack and to see the positive in people and situations.
When I’m grateful I feel less anxious. When I’m grateful I feel more peace and contentment. When I’m grateful I attract more of that goodness into my life.
Do you have a gratitude practice? Let me know in the comments below how it has helped you.
In health and happiness, Dee xxx
I posted on Instagram last week about being more open, raw and honest with you about why I do what I do, what has got me to where I am and how I continue to overcome blocks so I can move forward and have more impact in the world.
So, here goes…
The last (almost) two years, since my father died, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about who and what is really important. A lot of time healing and working on how I feel about myself, who I am in this world, my worth and what that really means.
Side note: I’m still working on this! Pretty much every day.
A lot of the time it hurts like hell. I’ve cried. A lot. This time last year I was totally exhausted and felt like sleeping for weeks. The everyday life stuff, connecting with people, growing my business, improving my life, I doubted I could do it. I didn’t think I deserved it. I didn’t think I was worth it. Anyone who knows me knows this isn’t me at all. I don’t give up. I’m positive about life.
So, I took some time to rest and took the pressure off myself to achieve my goals and intentions for 2018.
Part one …
STUCK IN MY STORY
Here’s the truth. I got stuck in my story. The story of “I’m tired” was a big one and as most of the stuff we tell ourselves is, it was true at one point, but I got to the point where I had to ask myself if it was still true.
Last February I can honestly say I was damn tired – physically and emotionally. I was waiting for support from people that were never going to give it me. I wasn’t looking after myself fully (as I continually advise others to do). I wasn’t being authentic. So I took steps in the right direction to come back to my real self and I think I’m almost there! Yay!
Late last year though, I heard myself say for the gazzilionth time “God, I’m tired, I need to sleep” and something clicked in my brain. Am I really?, I asked myself. Turns out, the answer was “no, I’m not!”. I’m just feeling flat, unsure and scared about what to do next. I knew there was so much I needed to do, especially in my business, whose growth I’d neglected. But to do that I needed to do some work on myself and my beliefs.
Refurbish my thoughts if you will.
I had lost belief in myself and went back to a version of my younger self where I truly believed I didn’t deserve much, that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough to be happy and successful. And a big one for me, I don’t belong and people just don’t really like me.
Not a great place to be, I’m sure you agree.
From this focus and mindset of lack it’s hard to grow and thrive. I know when I believed these things to be true in my 20’s I married the wrong person*, did unfulfilling work, lacked purpose and didn’t look after myself well at all. I changed things then, so surely I could change them again.
*you’ll be glad to know I divorced said ‘wrong person’ and found my one – we’ve been together 23 years in May!
Now, I know these beliefs from my childhood simply aren’t true. And I want you to know that if you’re feeling like this, it simply isn’t true for you either. For me they come from situations where I felt like I could never do enough, be enough or fit in and be a part of something.
However, there is a silver lining to this coming up in Part three!
Here’s one simple thing I did that really works…
I started a page in my journal for each negative belief and below it began a list of anything that disproves this belief. It’s amazing how effective this is. I mean, for starters, when I just take a look at the people around me who include me in their lives how can those beliefs be true?! The answer is as simple as it seems. Those negative beliefs just can not be true. The evidence is proof, it’s hard to ignore.
Of course knowing they’re not true and actually believing and living it is another story. I’m not going to lie, it’s an ongoing process. I keep adding to these lists plus journalling and doing lots of things to support my wellbeing on all levels. When negative thoughts come up I question whether they are true, and even if I can’t quite convince myself they’re not, I choose a positive thought to replace it.
Self compassion and perspective is super important.
Which brings me to Part 3
IT’S ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE
I really started to change how I looked at things. This doesn’t mean ignoring the unfortunate things that have happened or the beliefs I have had about myself. In fact it meant acknowledging them and then looking for the good that I could take from it. What does it mean for me and who I am as a person today?
This is the silver lining. I may not have felt deserving or worthy but I was always kind to other people. I may not have felt like I belonged but I’ve always truly loved helping others. I may not have felt good enough but I’m married to the best man I could imagine and am surrounded by caring friends. These things are what led me to be doing the work I love and becoming a kind, compassionate and caring person.
ACCEPTANCE is key here.
I’m not even sure this was what I wanted to say (and I know there’s more), but if it helps just one person to know they’re not alone then it was worth writing it.
Remember to be patient and compasssionate to yourself. Know you can change your beliefs and your perspective and move towards the life you know you deserve.
PS. A huge thank you to the friend that offered to help me write this. Even though I didn’t take you up on the offer, knowing it was there was a huge comfort and support to me.
Before I even start this post, let me say, I actually love change! It’s inevitable whether you drive it or not.
Time passes, people change, circumstances change, the world changes, you change.
But sometimes just when you think things are going to be a certain way they no longer are! And it’s out of your control. There is nothing you can do about it. You have a choice – be negative and feel like a victim or find the positive and embrace it! I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. There are certainly situations where the challenges are going to be extreme, lots of downs before the ups outweigh them. But today I’m referring to the everyday things that we all have to deal with in some way, on some level.
Allow me to explain…to do this I’ll reveal the news I refer to in the title.
maa organics is moving! This wasn’t planned by us at all…we had planned to stay where we are for the next year and had actually agreed with our real estate agent that we would sign another 12 month lease on the house we are living in. We sat back thinking this is great, we’re here for at least another year, we can relax and get on with reaching our goals without the disruption that moving causes. Yay! But, for various reasons we hadn’t yet signed the lease, when an email comes through telling us that the owner can now only offer us a 6 month lease as he may need to move in…bugger, sh*t, no, what will we do?, yikes…just some of our initial reactions to this news. As you can imagine we didn’t really want the disruption that moving causes. We had a choice. We could sign a 6 month lease, bringing us up to Christmas week, or we could look for a new place now. You know what we chose.
And just like that life changes.
We started to look at the positive side of things. We took control of what we can change and we made a choice that works best for us. Moving now meant we had time to find a place before the end of our lease here and not be waiting to move, feeling in limbo, for the next 6 months. Once we made this choice the energy changed and ideas started flowing. What opportunities does this open up for us? What do we really desire now? Not in a year or two but now?! As is often the case these ideas and visions are born over our Friday night wine ritual.
Let the manifesting begin!
Imagine a house that allows us to set up the wellbeing studio of course! And that also gives us room to run small workshops and retreats. We have wooden floors, a cosy space for our books and coffee/wine time, more privacy from neighbors, a relaxing outdoor space. A home that feels more ‘us’. In a short time we looked at a property that really fit these desires and needs. And after a little negotiation we got it! I always say we’re so lucky and Andrew agrees, but also reminds me that we make this stuff happen. Put it out to the universe, visualise it, take action, be the person who is ‘lucky’. Now for the move…the next couple of weeks are going to be organising and packing while still working in the Crace wellbeing studio. A busy and exciting time. I’ll share all the details of the new wellbeing studio on Facebook and Instagram.
But in the meantime let’s recap what to do when unexpected change like this happens..
- Allow yourself to react in the moment. I think it’s important to feel what you feel and let it out, then let it go.
- Make a choice to take control of what you can.
- Look at how this change could be an opportunity for you.
- What do your really desire now?
- Visualise the outcome. How does it look and feel?
- Take action. Go out and make it happen.
I’d love to know your tips on what you do when unexpected change happens. Let me know in the comments below. In health and happiness, Dee
Oh where to start?
I’m generally a very organised person in life as well as in my business. I’m one of those people who can’t think straight if things are a mess or even a little untidy!!! To me organisation equals calm. If things are tidy my mind has clarity and I can get on with things.
So I guess that’s where my organisation starts
I tidy up, declutter, get rid of stuff, put stuff away, clean. I give everything a place and make everything look and feel nice.
And that’s what I’ve been doing in every area of my life over the last couple of months.
You see in mid February I realised how damn tired I was after a very emotional year last year.
I’d had a big 2018 planning day at the end of last year but I actually hadn’t taken action on anything! Which isn’t like me at all. So I decided to take some time to rest and take the pressure off ‘doing’. I didn’t stop working in and on by business I just put aside my big 2018 to do list and deadlines I had set myself.
I let go. I took a little holiday. I reclalibrated.
Now I’m back – organised, energised and inspired!
Sometimes it’s important to take a step back. Sometimes that’s what you need. We don’t have to be achieving all the time.
As a result I’m changing up the way I do my planning. Here’s how it looks…
Instead of doing my major planning at the beginning of the year I’m now going to do it mid year, the beginning of the financial year. I’ll still do some new year planning as this always feels like a great time to review and reassess my goals and intentions in my business as well as my personal life. But this new timing for my planning makes sense for me right now in terms of my business.
The truth is you can do your planning at any time. I’m always doing mini reviews and updates to my goals and intentions.
If you’re feeling like this year is slipping away and you haven’t achieved any of your goals, it’s honestly not too late!
So let’s break it down.
Here’s how I do my annual planning and set goals…
I take a look at what I’ve done in the last 12 months and how I feel about those things.
Am I pleased? How can I improve? What did I learn?
I celebrate the wins and acknowledge the challenges and things I could have done better.
I think about what I’m loving and want to continue doing and also what I no longer desire in my life and business.
I choose a guiding word for the year ahead (I’ll keep this one for my new year intention setting). This year it’s COURAGE.
I set my goals and intentions for each area of my life – business and personal.
I write all this out as I believe it makes it more real to see it on paper. I have it to refer to and to inspire and remind me where I’m headed.
Then I plan out the steps it will take to achieve each goal. This may seem like a lot to do, but breaking each goal into steps makes it easy to work out how long each goal will take to reach and what help you may need to achieve it. I recommend you start with your top 3 goals first.
From here I work out a schedule of when I’m going to do things. I plan this out monthly and then I block out the time in my calendar.
Believe me when I say, if it’s not in your calendar it probably won’t happen. It’s also super important to treat these calendar appointments as you would any other appointment. You’re not going to cancel a doctors appointment so don’t cancel that appointment with yourself – keeping it means you’re one step closer to your goal.
And please remember to schedule time for YOU – we all need fun and relaxation to thrive. I also try to leave extra ‘catch up’ time in my calendar for when unexpected things pop up that impact my time – it gives me some breathing space and reduces my stress.
To make it all easier I have some useful resources that I love using…
- I have a diary/planner with monthly and weekly layouts – I use this for keeping track of what I get done each day, my weekly to do list and a monthly overview of what’s going on in my business and personal life.
- I have a journal for my intentions and goals, jotting down inspiration and ideas as they come to me plus lists galore – like books to read, podcasts, cafes, hiking trails etc etc etc.
- And I have a notepad for meetings and general note taking.
- I’ve just discovered a workbook that looks great – it’s the sort of thing I’d love to create and is very close to the process I use for my planning. It’s called the Artist Of Life Workbook. I’ve only just received it and have started using it this quarter so I’ll keep you updated on how that goes.
- I also have a gorgeous pen along with this beautiful stationery – together they inspire me to create beautiful meaningful things. Yes kikki.K is one of my favorite shops!!!
- Digitally I use iCal for my client and personal appointments and Evernote for taking notes on the go. I use Canva for designing social media posts. My iPhone and a Fuji X-A5 camera for taking videos and photos.
So that’s really it. It’s kinda simple but it does require ACTION.
ACTION – that’s the key to success. You can have the best, most exciting plans ever but without action they’re never going happen! Taking small steps consistently and knowing that big goals take time really helps to keep me on track.
And I also believe it’s really helpful to have an accountability buddy to check in with regularly, along with a coach or mentor to guide and support you.
Let’s recap the main points…
- Declutter, tidy up and make your space a place you love to be in.
- Write down your intentions and goals.
- Plan and schedule the steps to get to each goal.
- Include time for you (super important!).
- Take consistent action.
- Review, reassess and update regularly.
- Use resources that inspire and support you.
I hope this has been helpful.
How do you get organised and plan your goals?
Share with me in the comments below or over in my private Facebook Group – maa living. I’m always looking out for new tips and tricks.
Love Dee xxx
Self Care – I know! – It’s something I bang on about a LOT! But that’s because I truly believe it’s important for your wellbeing and health. Plus it will allow you to live the live you desire without the stress and exhaustion – well, it will at least keep it to an absolute minimum.
But what is self care and how can you make sure it’s effective and meaningful?
The Oxford online dictionary defines self care as the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.
I believe self care means taking responsibility for nourishing your mind, body and soul. It should be something you do consistently, not just when you’re stressed and exhausted and need some relief from what feels like the constant pressure you’re under.
If you incorporate self care rituals into your daily life you’ll cope much better with everyday pressures and extra stress when it arises. It’s the choices you make today, tomorrow, the next day, those cumulative choices, that will ensure long term wellbeing.
Please don’t beat yourself up if, at the moment, you’re not doing what you know fills you up. But if you’re feeling like you don’t have time for you then it’s likely that’s exactly what you need and it’s time to reassess your self care.
Self care is more than just a bubble bath or meditating daily. It’s not just a regular massage, a yearly retreat or an afternoon in nature. It can be all of these things and more! Or something completely different.
For me it’s regular massage and facials, daily essential oils, good books, music, hiking in nature, meditation, time with Andrew and my friends, and a glass of champagne + raw chocolate whenever I feel like it!
The thing is, you get to decide what self care is for you. It’s different for everyone.
But there is one thing that you absolutely must have for effective self care.
S E L F L O V E
Why is this so damn important?
Because without it, whatever you’re self care rituals are, they won’t be as meaningful.
Self care is not just another item on your to do list. It’s a non-negotiable that refills your mind, body and soul in a way nothing else can.
So when you put your self care rituals in place choose things that really do nurture and nourish your mind, body and soul.
These questions can be hard to answer. Grab a piece of paper or your journal and see what comes up.
The old cliche – you can’t love anybody else if you don’t love yourself – has become a cliche for a reason! Because it’s absolutely true.
I’m here to tell you – you are totally worth it!
Looking after you on a deep level, consistently, allows you not only to feel great but to be there more fully for those you love. You simply cannot give from an empty cup so keep yours overflowing.
Become your own best friend and treat yourself as such – with love.
I’d love to know your self care rituals. And let me know who you go with the journaling questions too!
Love and Peace, Dee xxx
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Last year was certainly a challenging year. Full of highs and lows, challenges, successes and lots and lots of healing.
HEALING was my word for 2017 and when I chose it I certainly didn’t think the year ahead would bring so much.
As I reflect on all that was 2017 I can see there is still a lot to integrate and I look forward to allowing this to happen.
Life happens for us, rather than to us, and it shapes who we are. But it’s good to remember that who we are today doesn’t have to be who we become. We have the power to make any change we desire.
And as I welcome 2018 with open arms I set the intention of COURAGE in my life.
This is my guiding word, my beacon of light as I move forward in my life and my business.
courage is not the absence of fear
but the ability to act in spite of fear
– Mark Twain
In 2018 I strive for…
The courage to invite strength, resilience and confidence to reside within me.
The courage to be me and not worry about what people think.
The courage to share what I’ve been through and am going through in order to help others.
The courage to speak out about what I believe in. To speak up. To be heard. To not always take the back seat.
The courage to listen more, reflect more, learn more, change and grow.
The courage to heal more deeply.
The courage to listen to my intuition each and every day.
The courage to really tune in to my body, nourish it with the food it needs and nurture it in the best possible ways.
The courage to allow the energy and enthusiasm that is just under the surface to come out and shine.
The courage to laugh more. To cry more. To feel more.
The courage to be me, fully and unapologetically.
I invite all this and more into my life for 2018 in order to support you on a deeper level. Because when we commit to ourselves first it allows us to give more. And to give in a free, open and generous way.
Do you have a guiding word for the year ahead? I’d love to hear what it is. Share with me in the comments below.
Love and Peace, Dee xxx